How I Chose To Be Happy: An Autobiography
Detailed Information About My Life
Tom G. Stevens PhDPsychologist/Professor Emeritus, California State University, Long Beach
Send Feedback/Questions to: Tom.Stevens@csulb.edu
You Can Choose To Be Happy:
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How I Chose To Be Happy: An
Autobiography
Tom G. Stevens PhD
Introduction
During Summer, 1958 when I was 16
years old I decided to try an experiment to make happiness for myself
and others the top goal in my life. One of my realizations was that
finding the right person and having a happy marriage was one of the best
ways to have a happy life (a happy wife does help create a happy life).
At the time I wondered how long I would even remember making that
commitment. It has led me to live a life filled with happiness from then
until now in 2026 at age 84 for which I am so grateful.
To crystallize my thoughts then I
wrote a list of guidelines for myself entitled, “How To Be Happy” (see
references).
This
decision changed my life and career. It influenced me to become first a
United Methodist Minster (briefly), then later a psychologist/professor
at California State University, Long Beach for 31 years until 2004.
Before CSULB I received a BA in Letters from the University of Oklahoma,
MTh degree from Claremont in 1968, Served as a United Methodist Minister
in Long Beach for a year, got my PhD in Psychology at the University of
Hawaii, and taught Psychology at Honolulu Community College (HCC) and
Whittier College (see my Vita).
During my formal career I enjoyed
my psychological counseling with students and others, my workshops and
classes, my research and writing, my program and class development, and
the many other opportunities I had to learn and serve the university and
the world. I believe that my book You Can Choose To Be Happy: “Rise
Above” Anxiety, Anger, and Depression (1998, 2010) and its
associated website are my best achievements. They allowed me to
summarize what I considered to be the key ideas about life and happiness
that I had learned through both my career and personal life. Since
retirement I continued to work on my happiness research using my
questionnaire, the Success and Happiness Attributes Questionnaire
(SHAQ), publish my revised book, and develop my Cognitive Systems
Theory.
I have also had a wonderful
personal life. I met Jane
Ellen Wotring in 1961 and we were married in 1964. We enjoyed our life
in Norman, Claremont, Pomona, Hawaii, and Huntington Beach. We traveled
a lot exploring CA and the west coast, crossing the U.S., and going to
Europe. We made lots of great friends. During our 18 years of marriage
we moved 10 times because of all our life changes. In Hawaii I began one
of my major life interests--tennis.
My friend David Cleveland, a fellow HCC teacher, got me on the
tennis court, and we both played tennis 1-3 times/week for the next 50
years. It was one of the best parts of my life (and health).
The marriage to Jane ended in
1982. Shortly after leaving
Jane, I found the love of my life in the woman who fulfilled the dreams
I had at age 16, Sherry Suzanne Bene’ Stevens (formerly Snyder). She has
two children, Tracie and Spencer. We moved in together in 1986, and
lived in Bixby Village, Long Beach, across from CSULB for 17 ½ years.
Sherry was a Counseling Intern when we met, and she went on to
get her MFT degree and license, and ultimately a job similar to mine at
Cal State, Fullerton in 1989. We
both retired in 2004. We sold our Bixby home and moved to Palm Desert in
June, 2004. We love living in our wonderful home in Monterey Country
Club (MCC). We overlook a golf course and are surrounded by beautiful
mountains. We have 1250
homes in MCC and it is like a small town. We are close to wonderful
shopping, restaurants, and many activities. During the “season” there
are many special activities that draw people from far and wide. We can
ride our bikes to many fun and beautiful places nearby or ride them
around in our beautiful development filled with palm trees, greenery,
ponds, and friendly people. We also swim during the hot weather at the
local pool across the street in our cul-de-sac.
One of my life’s dreams was to
travel a lot—especially to Europe.
After more than 24 trips to Europe, I can say that dream has been
met. Sherry and I have been
to what we consider many of the most charming, romantic, and interesting
places to visit in Europe, and are continuing to go as long as possible.
We love life and love being
healthy! We do our best to stay healthy by exercising almost every day,
eating healthy, and taking about 50 supplements/day that we have
researched and used for many years. Our goal is to live to be healthy
and happy at 100 (or more). Our friend John Curran who lived to be 108
was an inspiration.
For more complete descriptions of
my/our lives read my Christmas letters from 1968 to present (except 4
years when I didn’t write one). The letters were a brief summary of the
events of each year, and provide an abbreviated autobiography of my
life. My Professional life is best summarized in my Curriculum Vitae. I
also wrote a brief autobiography summarizing my birth through college at
the University of Oklahoma. See
the references below.
Biographical References and More Detail
This has only been a brief
introduction to my life. I
have written elsewhere about my philosophy and thinking, my
psychological ideas, my early life, and I have written yearly Christmas
letters which were actually summaries of some of the main events of each
year since 1968 (except for 1971, 73). My book and writings are on my
website at
www.csulb.edu/~tstevens,
on the Academia.edu and ResearchGate.net websites, and my book is on
books.google.com (free to read) and Amazon.com. In addition the website
Archive.net made exact copies of my website every few years, and
they are permanently? available. Search for my URL:
www.csulb.edu/~tstevens
and it should always be there even after I am no longer here and my
CSULB website is gone. Following is a list of these references and/or
actual copies.
Tom G. Stevens Autobiography from 1942 (birth) To 1969
NOTE: The Following Christmas letters are a summary of each year’s
events
1967-81 Tom and Jane Christmas Letters
Toms Professional/Career
NOTE: Tom’s Book and most of Tom’s Papers can be
downloaded from the following Websites:
Tom’s website:
www.csulb.edu/~tstevens;
Academia.edu; ResearchGate.net; books.google.com (read book free);
archive.org; amazon.com (Kindle or paper for sale)
Sherry Professional/Career (To Be Added Later)
Sherry’s Curriculum Vitae
MY Top Belief-Value Pillars: (HITLE)
My Five Pillars are my anachronym for
my TOP VALUES to live by, and the values I think would make the best
possible world if all people would live by. They are:
MY FIVE PRIMARY
BELIEF-VALUE PILLARS (HITLE)
H: HAPPINESS and Health for all
I: INTEGRITY with good Self-Management
T: TRUTH, Knowledge, and Honesty
L: LOVE, Gratitude, Empathy, Caring, Kindness, Giving for all
E: ENVIRONMENT Care and good management of both Our Physical and Social
Environments
SECONDARY BELIEFS-VALUES
Expectations: Hope and work
for the best, be prepared for the worst, plan for all possibilities,
accept any outcome.
1 Self-development, Skill
building, Be the best you can be
2 Impact, Contribution,
Productivity, Creativity
3 Beauty, Play, Fun, Art,
Music, Sports, Non harmful humor
4 Balance across life areas
5 Kindness, Civility
6 Reason, Science,
Technology
7 Good governance and
organizational structure reflecting pillars for all
Tom’s Biographical References
1.
How
To Be Happy Guidelines 1958 by Tom Stevens
2.
Tom G. Stevens Autobiograpy Time Line To
1969
3.
Tom G. Stevens Homes 1942-present
4.
Tom G. Stevens PhD Curriculum Vitae 2012
5.
Tom and Sherry Stevens Misc Itineraries
6.
Tom Stevens and Jane Stevens Year Summary
Christmas Letters 1968-1981
7.
Tom and Sherry Stevens Year Summary
Christmas Letters 1982-present (except 1971, 1973)
8.
You Can Choose To Be Happy: “Rise Above”
Anxiety, Anger, and Depression (with Research Results) 2010 can be found
on Amazon.com; FREE on Tom’s website, Books.Google.com. Also on
Academia.com, and ResearchGate.net search under Tom’s name and book is
part of larger article on How To Be Happy.
9.
Dr Tom G Stevens' BOOK: You Can Choose To Be Happy:
"Rise Above" Anxiety, Anger, and Depression
(with Research Results)
Go to Free BOOK DOWNLOAD
pdf
Go to BOOK CONTENTS
Go to RESEARCH SUMMARY CHAPTER
SELF-HELP INFORMATION + SITE MAP:
FREE SELF-HELP MATERIALS on this web site (click here to see list)
Free SHAQ QUESTIONNAIRE: Go to:
Success and Happiness Attributes Questionnaire (SHAQ)
to assess yourself on many factors--including your
HQ-Happiness Quotient
ORDERING the BOOK:
How to ORDER You Can Choose To Be Happy
Web site created and maintained by: Tom G. Stevens PhD,
Psychologist/Professor Emeritus, California State University, Long
Beach Counseling and Psychological Services
URL of this web site:
http://home.csulb.edu/~tstevens/index.html
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