Ch-1: Our Search for Happiness and Self-Actualization

Part 7

CHOOSE TO LEARN AND BE HAPPY WHILE READING THIS BOOK

When you are reading--even something that you enjoy--do you sometimes "bog down" in the material? Do some parts seem too confusing or too boring? In later chapters I discuss the concept of harmonious functioning. These chapters are about how to get "in the zone" of optimal interest and learning.
 

If you feel confused. You are only learning at a good rate if you are feeling interested. If you are feeling confused, then the input may be too overwhelming for your ability to process it. Your current thinking method cannot organize the input material well enough. Many people keep reading when they are confused and only compound their confusion. Others think that they are stupid when they feel confused. Some get angry and "turn off" out of frustration--blaming their confusion on the book.

Confusion is a healthy part of everyone's natural learning and growth process. Our confusion can be like a door. Opening the door and looking at what our confusion is about will create learning. Letting the door remain closed and continuing to read in a confused state (or giving up) will just increase our confusion and lower our opinion of ourselves.

Instead, if you feel confused, immediately stop reading. Ask yourself questions. What you are confused about? Try to answer the questions. Break your confusion into parts. Relate examples in your own life to ideas in the book--a light may switch on.

If you feel bored. Boredom is the result of too little input and stimulation. We are bored if we are not learning anything new or useful. In that case skim or find creative uses. However, boredom is often a result of confusion. If we "give up" or "turn off" because we don't understand something, we may cut our thinking to low levels and create the vacuum of boredom. In that case, redouble efforts to understand.

Even if a book or speaker seems confusing or boring, you are responsible for processing the information so that you can maximize your growth and enjoyment. Blaming the speaker or book will just keep you from growing.
 

Using what you learn from this book. You may already know many keys to happiness and be using them in your life. Validating and reasserting the importance of these ideas is an important process. When you get a new insight, begin experimenting with it immediately--before you lose it. Immerse yourself in your new ideas and behaviors. Experiment, practice, and play with them in as many situations as you can. Find their strengths and weaknesses. Discuss them with other people you respect. Write your own beliefs and guidelines as I wrote my original, "How To Be Happy" years ago that started my life on a new path. Or, keep a journal of your experiences.

1. MAKE HAPPINESS FOR SELF AND OTHERS A TOP GOAL (along with love, truth, growth, health, and other timeless values that go hand-in-hand with happiness.) Avoid becoming overly attached to any one particular goal, person, or condition. Take responsibility for your own happiness. Learn to choose both internal and external routes to happiness. (Chapters 1, 2)

2. LEARN HOW TO FIND AND SOLVE DEEP CAUSES OF UNHAPPINESS. Learn the self-exploration process to use in following chapters to root out dysfunctional beliefs and replace them with happiness-inducing ones. (Chapters 2 and 3)

3. DEVELOP YOUR HIGHER SELF. Your Higher Self is your "Inner Hero" that loves unconditionally. Seek empathy and balance. Learn to understand and respect each point-of-view of each inner part of yourself. Seek the same deep empathy for others. Develop a strong, positive philosophy to guide your life. (Chapter 3)

4. CREATE A POSITIVE WORLD BY ADOPTING A POSITIVE WORLD VIEW. Overcome your greatest fears, and learn that you can be happy in any situation. Then you can face each day with peace and confidence. Discover a rock-solid basis for optimism. Overcome deficit motivation--instead learn abundance thinking. Learn to hope for the best, be prepared for the worst, expect something between, and be grateful for all that you receive. (Chapter 4)

5. DEVELOP GREATER SELF-WORTH AND SELF-CONFIDENCE.  Learn to love yourself and others unconditionally. Learn to accept all parts of yourself and overcome negative self-beliefs. Learn the causes of low self-confidence and how you can improve it. (Chapter 5)

6. REPLACE EXTERNAL CONTROL WITH INTERNAL CONTROL.  Overcome too much dependence on others, need for others, or worry about what others think. Learn to improve relationships by being more internally controlled, intimate, and assertive. (Chapter 6)

7. LEARN HOW HARMONIOUS FUNCTIONING PRODUCES PEAK

LEARNING, PERFORMANCE, AND HAPPINESS. The harmonious functioning model is a breakthrough for understanding the basic causes of emotions and motivation. Learn what it takes to get "in the zone" of harmonious functioning. (Chapter 7)

8. LEARN THE SIX "CHUG-OF" MENTAL CONTROL STRATEGIES to achieve harmonious functioning and rise above anxiety, anger, and depression. Learn how to adjust your emotions like a thermostat. These six powerful strategies--based on the harmonious functioning model--will increase your "Happiness IQ" so you can choose to be happy. (Chapter 8)

9. CREATE A BETTER WORLD FOR YOURSELF AND OTHERS. Learn the

O-PATSM system to accomplish your goals and get control of your life. This system focuses on external routes to happiness--how you can get more control of your time, your actions, and the world around you. (Chapter 9)

THE YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY SELF-DEVELOPMENT PLAN

Immersion is the key to profound growth. Learning and happiness--like life--are not static entities, they are dynamic processes. I designed this book to be a step-by-step self-development plan for achieving greater happiness and self-actualization. In this chapter, I provided an overview of the concepts of happiness and self-actualization. I also suggested a most important step--that you make values like happiness, growth, love, and truth your ultimate concerns. In the next chapter you will learn some basic routes to happiness and learn a process for discovering the deeper causes of unhappiness. Study the You Can Choose To Be Happy self-development plan in the following Box to get an overview of how you can learn the key elements of controlling your own happiness.

The promise that I make you this. I believe it is possible to find at least one route to happiness in any situation. If you will learn and follow the ideas in this book well, then you can choose to be happy--in almost any situation and in your life.
 

A note for Christians and others:

1. See H. Cohen (1997), J. Blumenthal (1997), S. Cohen and T.Herbert (1996), N. Adler and K. Matthews (1994), R. Ader and N. Cohen (1993)
 

Self-Help and other resources on this website (and site map)