The Stevens Relationship Questionnaire (SRQ)

The SRQ intimacy and conflict-resolution scales had strong correlations with relationship satisfaction

NOTE: This questionnaire can now be completed and automatically scored as part of a more complete personal assessment called the Success and Happiness Attributes Questionnaire (SHAQ). The version on this page is not up to date, but can be used with permission.

=> To complete SHAQ, go to: http://www.csulb.edu/~tstevens/success

STRONGLY DISAGREE OR                                              STRONGLY AGREE OR
UNCHARACTERISTIC OF ME OR US          CHARACTERISTIC OF ME OR US
                                               => -2      -1      0      1      2<=

2. It is NOT ok for one partner to go away for a weekend by themselves to think and be alone.

3. One should always consult with their partner before making even small decisions.

4. I frequently fantasize about my partner.

5. My partner and I celebrate special days together almost once a month.

6. If I am under more stress than usual, my partner will usually do extra things for me.

7. A long term commitment (would) cause(s) me to feel trapped.

8. I have told my partner almost everything about myself.

9. My partner has close friends of his/her same sex with whom he/she has frequent social contact outside work.

10. If my partner makes a decision concerning his/her own personal matters, and I do not agree with it, I almost always am supportive and encouraging to my partner.

11. It is ok for one partner to go out to lunch alone with an attractive friend of the opposite sex.

12. My partner and I go out to romantic places just to be alone together at least once a week.

13. I am extremely attracted to my partner sexually.

14. My partner and I both enjoy playfully teasing each other several times per week.

15. The (marriage) relationship is more important than the happiness of one partner.

16. A couple should almost never argue or disagree if they are to have a truely happy relationship.

17. I would end my relationship if staying in it meant that I could not grow as a person.

18. My partner and I strongly agree on most long term goals.

19. When my partner and I have a discussion or arguement, we almost always stay on one issue at a time.

20. Overall, my partner and I are equal in how much influence we have in decisions.

21. When I discuss an important issue with my partner, I go ahead and tell my partner almost exactly what I am thinking and feeling--even though it might upset him/her. My partner does the same.

22. There are certain tasks that are MORE the man's responsibility, such as providing economic support, taking care of the car, etc.

23. There are certain tasks that are MORE the woman's responsibility, such as cleaning house, fixing meals, etc.

24. When I refer to myself, I frequently say "we" (meaning my partner and I).

25. One of us frequently worries about whether the other is really committed to this relationship.

26. My partner and I rarely argue about the same issue more than once.

27. One partner makes more of the decisions than the other.

28. My partner and I have some goals which are not the same.

29. My partner and I almost never make "threats" about what he/she will do if the other takes a certain action.

30. We usually discuss what is really bothering us (the "underlying" issues) instead of the "surface" issues.

31. In our conversations, one partner usually talks quite a bit more than the other.

32. One partner usually talks a long time before the other partner has a chance.

33. My partner and I both rarely use negative labels or call each other names (such as "dumb", "dependent", "weak","selfish", "inconsiderate") even when we are angry with each other.

34. I do not really feel very comfortable telling my partner about my weaknesses or something I have done wrong.

35. When making an important decision, we almost always discuss it until we find a solution with which we are both happy.

36. Sometimes when we are trying to resolve a difficult problem, we may talk about it for many hours. However, we keep going until we reach a solution.

37. When we discuss an issue, one or both of us frequently uses words like "always", "never", or seems to act as if they know more than the other.

38. I frequently feel as if my partner is manipulating me.

39. When discussing important issues my partner and I usually repeat back a summary of what the other has said to make sure we understand it.

40. Even during a disagreement, my partner and I frequently laugh and praise each other.

41. If I did not have my partner, I would have little trouble finding another partner with whom I could be very happy.

42. My partner is extremely charming and romantic.

43. My partner and I are both very assertive(positive, firm, and diplomatic).

44. I find that I can't really enjoy myself very much if I go someplace without my partner.

45. Our communication is extremely open, nondefensive, and honest.

46. Almost every day my partner and I each share our FEELINGS about events happening that day.

47. Overall, my partner gives me a lot more criticism than praise.

48. I don't know how I could be happy if I didn't have my partner.

49. I hate to be alone for even a short time.

50. I respect my partner more than almost anyone else I know.

51. I feel free to do whatever I want at home whether or not my partner is there.

52. I would feel embarrassed if my partner did something considered more characteristic of the opposite sex in front of other people (such as a woman working on the car or a man crying).

53. My partner and I talk very openly and freely about specifically what we like and dislike in our sexual relations.

54. I want a relationship in which the man is stronger and more decisive than the woman.

55. My partner and I do NOT enjoy working at the same task together.

56. If one of us tries to teach the other something, we usually end up having some hard feelings.

57. If I ask my partner to do me a favor, he/she almost always does it cheerfully.

58. My partner and I "win" long disagreements/arguements about equally often.

59. My partner almost always does what he/she says he/she will do.

60. If I get angry at my partner, he/she usually gets angry back.

61. I frequently do not know what my partner really wants or feels.

62. I enjoy being alone awhile almost every day.

63. I am glad that my partner has some recreational activities and interests apart from me.

64. My partner and I each have our own funds from which to buy personal things without consulting the other.

65. The man and woman should be equally responsible for providing an income for the couple or family.

66. If the man and woman have a career conflict in which one has to quit his/her job, the woman should be the one to quit.

67. Overall, I criticize my partner quite a bit more than I praise him/her.

68. If I lose my temper at my partner, he/she will almost always tell me about it in a firm, diplomatic way without losing his/her temper. I do the same when she/he loses her/his temper.

69. I believe in traditional male-female differences in roles in most areas of the relationship.

70. Most people think that my partner is extremely physically attractive.

71. Overall, I have an extremely happy relationship with my partner.

72. Overall, I am extremely satisfied with my relationship with my partner.

INSTRUCTIONS: During the past six months, answer approximately how often:

73. My partner and I have sexual intercourse:
a. At least 5 times or more per week.
b. At least 3-4 times per week.
c. At least 1-2 times per week.
d. At least 1-3 times per month.
e. Less than once per month.

74. My partner and I have arguements for at least several minutes:
a. At least 5 times or more per week.
b. At least 3-4 times per week.
c. At least 1-2 times per week.
d. At least 1-3 times per month.
e. Less than once per month.
Return to beginning

Scale Description & N=Number of items

I=Independence (Freedom to make decisions and pursue interests and personal growth--with blessing of partner.) N= 20
E=Equality of Decision-making, etc. N= 4
N=Intimacy (Assertive statements & empathetic listening of feelings, thoughts, etc.) N= 12
L=Liberated (Non-traditional, "liberated", egualitarian male-female role beliefs and behavior.) N=6
A=Assertive Conflict Resolution N= 23
R=Romantic (Attitudes and behavior) N= 7
O=Other items

*=> Reversed item

1) Start with the answer to question number 1.  Go to the scoring key below and note that beside item 1 is the letter "R."  Write your answer to question number 1 (it was -2,-1,0,1, or 2) under the column marked R=Romantic.  For each question you will write your answer under the appropriate column indicated by the following letters: 

2) For items that HAVE A STAR ("*") written beside them, these are REVERSE SCORED ITEMS.  That means that you must convert the score you wrote to its opposite.  For example if you answered -2, reverse the sign to +2, and write it under the appropriate column above.  If you answered +2, reverse the sign to -2 and write it under the appropriate column.  If you answered 0, write 0 under the appropriate column.

    For items that DO NOT HAVE A STAR, write that answer (-2 to +2) under the appropriate column.

3) Find the algebraic sum for all of the items under scale I=Independence.

Example: the algebraic sum of the following numbers: +1, -2, 0, and -1 is equal to -2. [Add the pluses together (+1= +1) and add the minuses (-2 + -1= -3); then subtract the minuses from the pluses (+1 - -3= -2).

5) Divide the total sum for the "I" scale by the number of items in that scale.

Example: If the total is -11, divide by the number of items for the I=Independence scale (20). -11/20 = -0.55. The scale score for the I (Independence) scale is then -0.55.  Scale means must be between -2 and +2.  A +2 is the highest score you can get on a scale, a -2 is the lowest you can get.  The average is about 0 on most scales.

6) Repeat this procedure for each of the other 5 scales. Return to beginning

SCORING KEY
 

  SCALE MEANINGS

Independence=I. This is a 20-item scale measuring freedom of both partners to make decisions and pursue individual interests and personal growth.

Intimacy=N. This is a 12-item scale concerning perceived communication of feelings, self-disclosure, likes and dislikes, and ideas concerning respect, commitment, and common goals.

Romantic Attitudes and Behaviors=R. This is a 7-item scale including items such as attraction, fantasizing, and special favors.

Assertive Conflict Resolution and Communication =A. This is a 23-item scale measuring the use of positive, supportive, direct, and empathetic statements during discussions related to various levels of problem resolution. Assertive as opposed to non-assertive or aggressive responses are scored higher.

Equality of Decision-Making=E. This is a 4-item scale measuring how equal the two partners perceive their decision-making to be.

Liberated Beliefs of Sexual Roles=L. This is a 6-item scale measuring non-traditional "liberated", egalitarian beliefs regarding male and female roles within the context of an intimate relationship. It does not include equality of decision-making or communication styles. It focuses upon lack of role specialization.

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