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by William Houston Sets are continually being torn-down/ rebuilt Small fires spontaneously break out (on video monitors?) litter is always accumulating Billboard messages (projected?), flashing lights etc.
Scene 1 (Corporate Boardroom) Santa: Well Jingle Jim another year come and gone Time for more refrains in your song more goods to bring more tunes to sing Jingle Jim: Neater than nuclear fallout soft as a snowball in hell It's your bag Santa Santa: All indicators suggest the most profitable Christmas yet its nearly time to shower the world with our bag of tricks bring in the elves my magic men whose seductive art and clever puns make the world go out and spend (Elves enter) What we need are loyal elves who love their Santa like themselves who'll buy and work and work and buy and earn their portion of the pie and so my friends it's up to you a turn of phrase will sell a shoe a picture will inspire desire insipid tunes will spark a fire a fire to make the money burn the fire creates the need to earn the fire consumes the passions yearn and thus the cycle of consumption and production takes its turn Bring in the test consumer. Time for a little research. Scene 2 Consumer is brought in and chained to a wall, or to some sort of "testing" contraption. Elves & Santa: Never should a day go by in which you are not gratified never should your credit stop never should you cease to shop we grant this license to you all your life awaits you at the mall Try this my friend would you spend can you sense a buying trend Through your hole to your soul hot new items fresh from the North Pole Consumer: I want it all from every store to suck the luscious tit for more stuff my face fill my hole make a hungry ghost of my soul my eager eyes anticipate my drooling tongue can hardly wait I want the whole world on my plate like a big fat cheeseburger with special sauce Voracious avaricious me I'll take my share and yours too every gaping hole stuffed full Lord Santa I pray to you Santa: Before the orifices can be filled the eyes, the window to the will must be entranced, enticed and glued let's show it all to Looky Loo Scene 3 (Looky Loo, carrying purse, is led into boardroom where displays and flashing lights are revealed to her). Elves: Looky Loo It's all for you all a dream away for on that happy day when your friends will say Oh Looky Loo we envy you Looky Loo: I'm always making educated choices listening to the voices in my head singing from my purse my sweet plastic passes my tickets to gratification Which of you is hungriest my darlings there are stores enough for all Not enough hands not enough ears not enough feet Show me your display I want to take it all fill me up with images from your great mall Please let me want I just want I just want to want Scene 4 Jingle Jim: (to audience) Come to the mall where you can see it all all of your dreams within reach Everyone is there, everyone's on fire First you must see, then you can be First you desire, then you acquire (At the Mall) Chorus: Here he is your favorite star who sold you on your favorite car who sings the song and plays the part whose work is what we pass as art the corporation's messenger that great artiste Cash Register (Cash Register enters) Cash Register (As if preaching a sermon or giving a lecture with slides): A world of goods is a good world The Lord helps those who help themselves so help yourself to the good world The you'd be rich if you could world We've remade the Garden of Eden A life of prosperity if you follow the rules But don't bite the nipple that feeds you Don't think twice, keep yourself nice Don't get wise or we'll cut you down to size Go along to get along Forget about forbidden fruit God wants you to have it all God wants you to wear a suit You could be a star like me Drive a big red fancy car like me Big happy dreams for you to dream C'mon aboard and join the team This pie's for you so have a slice Of this Consumer's Paradise Jingle Jim raps while Cash sings: (rap: This pie's for you so you gotta have a slice Yeah you gotta get your slice of this consumers paradise Go along to get along and be a great big star Dream some big red fancy dreams drive a big red fancy car But you better not get wise or we'll cut you down to size so just take your cue from me and be very very nice So what you want you want a written invitation? Go with the flow it's a consumption-crazy nation Scene 5 Peddlers: Santa Santa Santa Santa we believe in Santa Claus we believe in Santa Claus more than we can ever say real to us in every way Protect the little children for they are pure unsullied by the dirt of work our naive army of consumers shield them cherish them remove them from naughtiness their innocent wants shall be our concern let them have sneakers and Santa and such fill their desires but don't ever touch we will pour into their innocent minds dreams of consumption for sugar plum time Santa in chair. Kids and adults in line to sit on his lap Woman- Looky Loo- sits in his lap, Santa fondles her Looky Loo: O Santa I have so many needs I don't know where to start my desire's so hot it smothers my heart. Santa gives her a candy cane Scene 6 Consumers: There will be no thinking twice in our consumers paradise We are the keepers of the flame (products as personae put on a sort of floor show with Jingle Jim as "choreographer" and Cash Register as Consumer Advocate/ Hero). Jingle Jim (demonstrating products): Stop the pain ecstatic delight 30% more pure than Jesus greener than envy more real than reality softer than babies shit tickets to happiness Halitosis enters. Halitosis: The devil's in your mouth the seed of your neurosis look out I'm coming out I am your halitosis I'll be there I'm in your air You can take me anywhere we make a singular pair Cash Register (promoting mouthwash/ struggling with Halitosis): Away with you you nasty dude I hate to have to be so rude but you and me we just don't jive and I can't let you out alive Halitosis: You think that you can kick my ass? I'll get my friend Intestinal Gas (exit) (Freshness enters, spraying freshener) Freshness: Freshness, that's me shower-fresh, odor-free sweet-ass newness all day long 5 P.M. still going strong Away I go with no B-O as pure as freshly driven snow the whole world gravitates to me The world loves Freshness, yes siree How can you be like me when stink is rife with horrid stenches complicating your life making you insecure, unsure if you really should be in society By your own body you are betrayed You start out sweet but then you fade But I fight nature naturally For BO would be the death of me Scene 7 Santa: (in Limo-maybe on video) On Vanity, Avarice, Greed and Corruption on Ignorance, Envy, Excess and Seduction Need Want and Desire power my sled as dreams of consumption eat up your head Scene 8 Elves laboring away back at ad agency Elves: Writing on the wall messages for all we are the priests of Santa's temple the scribes of want dogmatists of desire get it here first stoking the coals of expectation caressing the subconscious with anticipation finding substance in the shadow-world of your mind Oh yeah. Santa enters with bag and begins stuffing contents into Consumer's mouth. Santa: Take it, take it all consume more, faster, bigger open wide baby it's all for you don't ever stop or I'll be screwed There's always more you're never through C'mon Consumer, here's to you Consumer: More more more through my hole to my soul always the newest the freshest the tastiest never full not complete without the latest treat I want the purest the cleanest the most natural and most importantly the most improved I consume passionately My passions consume me (Consumer dies. His ghost gets up and sings). Hungry Ghost: Hunger I can never fill passions I can never still desire I cannot relinquish fire that I cannot extinguish Jingle Jim/Chorus displaying, using and discarding various products. Chorus is spread across stage repeating phrases in polyphony- a vocal orgy Chorus: Nice and clear and nice Sweet and tasty and brown Whitens whites Blackens blacks Brightens brights Slackens slacks (Vacuity in perpetuity) Jingle Jim: Cozier than a pig hotel Louder than a rocket to nowhere more brutal than medical testing More anal than reverse engineering hotter than a smoked-out cult more cunning than a smart bomb Vacuity in perpetuity Chorus: (on video) Vacuity In perpetuity The consumer who is vacuous will be filled with a consuming bliss For that which is an empty box will understand when money talks Will be in tune will take the call will seek his solace at the mall So help us when we educate to reproduce the empty slate That we may stamp it with our brand and have prosperity in all the land |