i drove you to the funeral home
to pick out prayer cards
and flowers
along with mom
an expert having buried her own child
and you joked around
and fought with your ex
and worried about the color of your outfit
for the big day
at her wake
you greeted your friends
shaking hands and kissing cheeks
as if you were backstage
on the opening night of a new play
then you turned to the casket
and screamed and cried
and threw down the lid
before anyone else could say goodbye
then you went out for coffee
at her memorial
the minister asked if anyone
wanted to share their thoughts
and you jumped up
i wanted to believe it was the caffeine
or grief
but you grabbed the mike
and worked the crowd
welling up tears for envelopes
stuffed with money